Tuesday June 7, 2011

"For you did not choose ME, I chose you..." John 15v16

"We are taken into God's purpose with no awareness of it at all..."

Oswald Chambers

"Say your last name again."

"Now that there's a Horstman..."

"You're a Wesselius girl aren't you?"

Whether questions or statements I've heard it all countless times, and today was no exception. Today was special. Today was my first day in my navy blue scrubs, as a nurse at the Sioux Center Community Hospital.

Yes. I accepted a job in my home town. Funny. I move to San Diego only to move back home for a job in Iowa. So backwards. But I am happy. Happy to be here with my family. Happy to be surrounded by some of my best friends. Thankful and content. Grateful that I have been provided a job to pay my bills. Content with what I have discovered and learned and done these past months.

Days are slower here. There is silence. Still moments. The fields are turning green. You can see the corn grow. Seriously. My favorite time of year. Last night Sarah and I watched Micah and Travis play church softball. Biting bugs, oppressive humidity, flickering fireflies, and the crack of pop-fly balls. Summer is definitely here.

I've thought a lot about my decision to move home. A lot. The decision was in no way, shape, or form, easy to make. These last three months have held so many thoughts! I prayed oh so hard for a job. Any job. And the only job to show its face is the one I have now. God brought me back to Sioux County for a purpose. My life is in His hands.

But that doesn't mean I'm not left wondering as to what comes next. As Pastor Carl said on my first Sunday back, "I love you. TRUST ME." says our Father. That's no small feat.

We do not always understand where God leads us in life --or like it! The ONE who calls is faithful and HE will do it.

This spring has been a struggle. Loneliness creeps in and my thoughts would often get the best of me. Feeling utterly alone can catch you off guard or stay lying in the pit of your stomach for hours on end, a constant, nagging, ache. I found God in those alone moments, which brought me to a realization. Giving yourself time and space from other people and distracting relationships can actually strengthen you as an individual and in the one relationship that really counts.

So here I am, excited to be closer to the people I hold dearest in my heart, eager to learn the ropes of a new job, and trying my best to listen patiently without doubt to God's plan.